slowlikehoney1996:

t shirt that says “i used to be worse”

deadmomjokes:

It recently came up in conversation with my toddler that some birds can talk, and this has caused her great concern.

See, we were talking about how movies are pretend and how in real life, animals don’t talk. I mentioned that there are some birds who talk a little bit, but not like the animals in movies, and she just looked at me like “???”

So I informed her that some kinds of parrots can copy sounds that people make, and can learn how to say words. I thought this would give her a giggle, as fun new facts often do, but she was just deeply perplexed and a little worried about this.

“Birds can talk?” “Do they ask questions?” “What do they say?” Why do they talk?” “Do chickens talk?” “What about Blue Jays?” “Why do some birds talk?” “How do they talk?” “Birds TALK???”

We showed her a video of a parrot doing the “Hello, pretty bird, give a kiss” thing, and she was dead silent the whole time, hugging her comfort pillow with her knees to her chest. We asked if she wanted us to turn it off, and she shook her head. But we also asked if she wanted to see another one, and she shook her head even harder.

I don’t know why it has distressed her so greatly to learn that some birds can mimic human speech; but then again, I don’t know why it doesn’t distress the rest of us more to know that some birds can mimic human speech.

I keep thinking about that post that’s like “The first person to hear a parrot talk was probably Not Okay.” Because that’s exactly what happened. She had never been introduced to the concept, and her entire worldview got SHOOK.

protoindoeuropean:

chaossmith2:

The only “manufactured celebrities” we need is Barbie, Hatsune Miku, and the Muppets

e Bugs

(via mischiefmakermax)

overpoweredoriginalposter:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

asterkallium:

piplup grain entrapment

piplup cares a lot about his work

piplup reports on the company’s finances. layoffs are inevitable.

piplup takes a sick day

piplup considers some jorts

piplup forgives his father.

piplup goes grocery shopping

piplup jumps your battery

piplup lights the menorah

piplup sees the pale blue dot

piplup catsits

(via cloudiifeather)

werewolftits:

werewolftits:

new weed idea

(via mischiefmakermax)

evildoggy:

unfortunatyely im displaying behaviours. and acting in ways

(via whythinktoomuch)

zmije:

zmije:

At work when a child is shouting or running around and their parent is like “stop that or they’re gonna come tell you off” or “they’re gonna shout at you” and point at me like no im not 😭 don’t make ur child afraid of me when I approach your table I don’t like it

feel like this literally no am no

(via vamprisms)

oh-barnicals:

(via anangrybanana)